With great sadness, one of my best friends, Nikki said good bye to her baby boy. She miscarried at 16 weeks. Michael Samuel Barra. I feel so sad for her, Ivan and the girls. I spent the night at their house last night. I have to say, in the midst of tragedy if you look for it, you can see God's hand in everything. Even in something like this. So it will take time but I know that God will sustain them and bless them. Their son is in heaven now and although we wish he could have stayed with us, I know God knows what he's doing. So I will pray, be there for them and do what I can to lift Nikki's spirits.
We got part of our taxes back. It's quite sad actually that we live for this every year, but hey, it is what it is. It is the time of year that we can stock up, buy what we need, some things we don't, plan ahead, go on our annual Dells vacation. That is one thing we decided we will always do unless we are in dire circumstances. Our family vacation is a must. We want our kids to have those memories. They deserve it, we deserve it. I have to say, we don't always have the easiest cirucmstances to deal with and dang it, we are going to have 1 fun, great thing we do for our kids. They talk about it all year long. My mom comes with and the kids are making lifelong memories with her as well. That is priceless. So, it feels good to not feel so strapped for cash. We aren't rolling in it, lol, but we at least aren't in a bad spot.
This week I think I may have had a revelation. For lack of a better explanation. I got in contact with a woman who works for a non profit Autism Soceity. I will be able to plug in to a group of people who know what we go thru. I will have resources to help us. And I feel like that is my purpose. To educate myself, my family and other families about having a child w/ autism, no matter how severe and how to be an advocate. How do we get thru this, how do we help our other children thru this...Not too long ago I really felt like my desire to be a nurse really left me. I wasn't sure if it was just because I don't want to go back to school, lol... but this week, I realized what opportunities I will have to help my own family deal with Autism, but to help others.
I am at just the beginning. I have a lot to learn. However, I know that at some point, I can be that mom that tells another mom that they will live thru this. Life won't always feel like it's coming to an end. And since I do not work, I have the time to read and educate myself. I guess I just feel like I have a purpose. Of course my number one purpose is being the best wife and mom I can to my family. Beyond that, I feel like I have enough experience that hopefully God will use me to help others.