Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Spilling my guts

So.,.it's been awhile and I feel like my brain my explode w/ all the thoughts going thru it!! so I need to blog it all out!!! Last week we spent the week in the Dells. The weather was great and we had a wonderful time. When we got home, I was EXHAUSTED.And have been ever since. I Know for a fact it is partially due to me not taking my iron pills. But I also am feeling weird in other ways. Like when we are out and about, I don't even have the energy to run into the grocery store w/ Darnell. How sad is that? doing the normal, every day things exhaust me. I just feel like something is off. I can't put my finger on it. I know it could just be a mixture of things. I have a daily mental battle w/ my weight, whether or not I will exercise that day, yada yada yada. Well how the heck do you exercise when i barely have the energy to go up and down the stairs? OR... I have a big energy spurt and then I crash. It's so stupid. I hate feeling this way. I don't know if I need to go and talk to someone, but of course that requires making MORE FREAKING APPOINTMENTS and keeping them, as if we don't have enough of those. And we can re name our medicine cabinet to Hoaglund Pharmacy. Between my meds, Isaiah's, and now J's headache meds.. jeez....
On Sunday, my awesome friend Jen Powell got me started w/ Isaiah's schedule and social stories. Which then prompted me to go out and buy a laminator so that I can keep up w/ his schedule changes etc... That really helped b/c that whole thing totally overwhelmed me. so.. basically I feel like crap. I feel like Darnell does WAY more than he should have to, that I just should be doing more, and bottom line, that the enemy is having a field day w/ my emotions. Yes, I will be praying about it. Tonight, I needed to get it all off my chest. I have a lot on my plate. Somewhere in between trying to make sure everything w/ my kids is all good I need to take care of myself, and when it comes to that, well I just don't have the energy. bottom line.