Monday, May 14, 2012

Beaten down but not destroyed!

It's been almost 2 weeks that Isaiah has been OUT of pull-ups! This is HUGE for him. I'm so proud of him and so thankful to the Lord for taking this issue from him. He's so much happier now that his bowels are not backed up and he's not in pain anymore! 

On a different note I have been feeling a bit, well ok VERY frustrated w/ the situation with our van. It needs a lot of work. We don't have the funds or the means( credit cards) to get it fixed. I feel like I did 10-12 years ago when we had the same issues.. not a good feeling. I know w/ all that is in me that God is in control, even in things such as our vehicle woes. I admit that I do not handle this particular stress well. at all. I get in the mindset that I want it fixed, all of it, YESTERDAY!! I don't have time to worry about this. Well, I realize that for whatever reason I have to deal w/ this. A lot of people look at car trouble and things similar things to be trivial. Well when you are living it, it's not trivial. So I am striving to learn from this. Rely on God. do not freak out. 
I guess the bottom line is I feel beaten down. This last year has just sucked the life out of me. I do not say that so I anyone will say, oh poor Melissa.. etc.. I say that because well, it's the truth.So when things like my van not working properly or my washer and dryer not cooperating.. those things feel huge to me. I want to handle these things w/ dignity and most of all in a way that honors God. I don't want to complain yet I want to be real. 
Forgive me if I am paraphrasing and possibly screwing up this verse.. but I feel like the verse that goes something like " I am beaten down but not destroyed..." So although in this season of my life when things feel oh so out of control...I may not be at my best but God is. I am not destroyed and I have hope. Not only hope in the every day things such as car trouble but in the big things such as where God will lead me next, how will he use me, how will he use my struggles and difficulties to some day encourage someone else. 
So that is all for tonight.