blah blah blah..

WARNING~ I may do some complaining and ranting and all that... read at your own risk or run for the hills now! 


I am feeling extremely frustrated. We seem to have a laundry list of things we need and instead of it slowly getting shorter it's quickly getting longer. I am well aware that I am NOT the only mother/wife that feels this way, by far. I guess after awhile I just feel like I could use a break. And for my own sanity I am going to list the things that are at the forefront of my mind.. simply because I think for the simple fact of getting it out here, I just might sleep better tonight. For starters, our van is in SERIOUS need of a LOT of work. All of which we have NO funds to fix it. We have 2 lawn mowers in our yard that do not work and our yard is quickly starting to look like crap. And as a side note, I LOVE LOVE LOVE hanging flower plants, it fills my love tank and I have NONE for my porch this year. That is obviously something I don't NEED per say, just something that usually helps take the edge off feeling like crap about all the other stuff. 
I also have 4 kids that ALL need summer clothes of all kinds. Right down to undies and bras and socks and flip flops and a new bathing suit for my daughter. And I also have prescriptions that I need filled that are mucho expensive b/c we don't have insurance till August. I am waiting on the state insurance. 
with all that being said, I KNOW there are so many that are far worse off than me. People that don't have jobs, homes, vehicles etc....Lord knows we have been in worse situations that we are right now. I guess what it boils down to is that emotionally, this stuff gets to me. I have a relationship w/ God, I know he'll provide. I am just tired of seeing so many have their basic necessities met so easily and we struggle w/ them on a regular basis.and as I type this you want to know what runs thru my mind? if someone reads this, will they think Oh Melissa is just complaining again, she's just overeacting and could do this or that better and not be in the position she's in. Well you know what I have to say to that? And I promise I'll keep it clean.. walk a mile in my shoes, really, take a step into my world. Deal w/ all that i deal with and then we'll talk. 
I'm grasping at what little sanity I have left. lol. 
In light of all the negative stuff, I must share the good things. Isaiah has been out of pull ups for almost a month. We can safely say he has overcome that issue. It was a lengthy process and one that was very hard! However I give God all the Glory because it was a big deal for Isaiah!! Jeremiah is blossoming into a wonderful young man. He passed his temps test today. On June 6th, when he'll be 15 1/2 he can go to the DMV and get his official Temps and be able to drive w/ one of us. WOW... that doesn't seem real. I am so proud of him. He's been in weight lifting after school and he's going to be playing football in the fall. so he'll be at Horlick most of the summer between weight lifting and then Football stuff. I couldn't be prouder. 
So there you have it. The bad w/ some good. that's just how it is today. praying that some of the things on my list God will provide for. I know he will I just am being tested right now....