Friday, September 6, 2013

so much going on....

The kids went back to school this week. Haley started high school. wow. that doesn't seem possible. We started homeschooling Isaiah. Well kind of... We see the neuropsychologist next week to get the results of his big 4hr evaluation he had last month. With what she has to say about all that, we can go from there. There are a lot of gaps that need filling. 
I don't know exactly what he's capable of. I don't know how he learns the best. There's so much I'm glad to be finding out. In the meantime, I am looking on all these homeschooling websites and blogs and Pinterest.. trying to find planners and ideas etc.. I have to say.. I'm on overload. 
I love to coupon. I save us a lot of money but that is a lot of work. I need to get organized a little more, and pick a day or two that  I spend awhile looking for the deals I want to get, put it all together and leave it at that. 

Darnell's radiation is going well. He's got a little over a week and a half left. He's tired. I think he's a lot more tired that what he'll ever admit, but it's just the way he is. I can't fault him for it. The last 3 months have by far, been the hardest, longest, weirdest EVER IN MY LIFE. My mind doesn't shut off. My emotions are up/down up/down..I do my best to focus on what I know to be true. I know God doesn't leave us in the midst of the storm. I don't understand why he allowed it. Especially when we were already dealing w/ enough. However, it really isn't something I need to concentrate on. Sure doesn't change anything. Figured that out real quick. 

I'm exhausted in every way possible. I just don't feel like I can keep up. I've said this before, but I can't wrap my mind around Darnell having Cancer. it's that word. that horrid, life altering word that turns people's world upside down. He has a good prognosis but no matter how you shake the dice... it's cancer. radiation. MRI's..all of it.. so much. How can this be real? Almost 3 months after he was diagnosed I still can't believe it. My heart is still broken for my husband. My human emotions kick in and that's how I feel. I find it hard to not be emotional. I do have faith.. that hasn't changed. Being a human, a wife, and dealing with this, I feel scared and sad and broken. 

So.. I need to go to bed. I haven't sleep normal since June.