Thursday, June 3, 2010 fast life can change..

I am thinking about how much life has changed in just one month. One month ago I was just barely used to the idea of moving, now we are all moved. Well all but one desk, a grill and that's it. We are in an awesome home, it's starting to feel like home. I feel like I can finally take a breath. Yesterday I worked for an hour and a half and cleaned the old stove and fridge..It probably shouldn't have taken that long, but w/ my back hurting, it took me a little longer. Plus I pulled both out and cleaned behind and underneath. Let me just say, now that we are moved and everything if fresh and clean... I WILL keep up on all the tedious things like cleaning behind the fridge and stove. Im thankful for a new season in my life, a new season literally with summer starting. My 33rd birthday is next week. WOW! when I used to think of myself of being in my 30's , I somehow thought i'd be someone else, sorta. Does that make sense? LOL... In reality, I am a wife, I'm a mother of a teenager, a pre-teen, and 2 kids still in elementary school. When I look back at old pics, I miss terribly the days when they were babies. Well not entirely. I do enjoy the quiet days. I do enjoy seeing and witnessing watching my kids grow into themselves....I feel like they are growing into wonderful, beautiful human beings. It just goes so fast. This year Darnell and I have been together 16 years. half our lives. WOW!! I am blessed. Yes we face challenges most don't...but for whatever reason, Darnell chose ME, he loves ME, we have 4 gorgeous kids, we have spent the last 16 years growing up together, raising our kids, and will continue to do so. I used to think once the kids got past being toddlers life would be.. well I couldnt think past that. Now that we are past that, I find myself still watching them sleep, still taking tons of pictures of them, still being proud of who they are, that I get to be their mom! God picked ME to be their mom. what an honor. I do NOT take that for granted. Darnell and I still are in love. I used to be sooo insecure, so unsure of myself, yet all this time has gone by and Darnell is still by my side. I have given him a run for his money, lol... not in a bad way per say, but he married a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, who tends to be over emotional, over dramatic ( and we wonder where Savannah gets it from, HA)....a girl who has documented mental issues, lol, well maybe I am stretching that a bit, but really, I'm on prozac for goodness sake.I'm not ashamed or embarrassed. It is what it is. Some people can deal w/ stress and the things we've dealt w/ and not bat an eyelash.I however am not one of them . Sadly it is genetic. Thanks Mom and dad, lol......seriously though, I am who I am for better or worse of for some reason Darnell is in love with me. And I am in love with him. Right now he is emotionally stronger than me...but I think that just the ebb an flow of reality.......I still can take one look at my kids and immediately know if something is off, Haley can cath and yes this is gross but the God Honest thruth, can tell by the smell of her urine if something is off. I can take one look at Isaiah and probably tell you what kind of day it is. Jeremiah is a teenager, however he is NOT like other kids.......he's thougthful an loving and thinks to ask me how my day was....he's just like Darnell and Savannah is our comic relief....just hearing her laugh and giggle can make me feel are the best medicine. Our kids handle life well. they are awesome