Naturally optimistic? Not so much...

You know those people who post on FB at like 5 a.m. that they're up & at 'em ... Exercising, cleaning . You know being all productive and stuff... Well if you know me at ALL you'll know that I am the furthest thing from that. I have been taking D to work at 5 am and when he wakes me up, my first response is not "Good Morning my love" it's more along the lines of ...seriously , waking up this early is nothing but bull shit! Of course I will do it b/c my hard working hubby works his ass off. It's just w/ me being sickits really hard for me to get up that early. Some friends gave us a bike but w/ the extreme heat there's no way he can ride a bike.
Anyway these naturally bubbly people make me want to smack them. No offense to anyone who reads this & you happen to be part of this clearly crazed type of person. And of course at the root of all this is just jealous y that I do not possess an ounce of this type of personality!
So I'm am trying to work w/ what I've got. With the crappy things going on in life right now I need a new attitude.
I plead with God to bring about change, to provide a way for our van to be fixed.
With the Colorado shootings, I have taken a step back. Realized that I've got more blessings than problems.
So- I'm a major work in progress. Ever changing, making changes . Making mistakes. Hanging on to the Hope that God gives me.
I can't feel guilty for being sick, for feeling awful or not being able to keep up w/ things. It just is what it is right now. D and the kids have supported me thru all this and I am truly blessed.
Now I'm rambling... Time to be done!!!