Summer time

Jeremiah's been at camp for 3 days.. I miss him. It's not the same w/ him gone. However, I am THRILLEd that he is experiencing Spencer Lake, I went every year for 11 years, and they were the best memories I have. This blog will be short b/c I have a headache and am exhausted! Isaiah had a fabulous day! Not one meltdown! Praise God!!

Paper Work

Well I got a notice in the mail from SSI that I need to send in check stubs for our review.. I have been DREADING this for months, I am mostly prepared because I knew it was coming so during one of my OCD episodes( they only come along like once a year, lol) I got everything pretty much organzied. Now it will just be a matter of figuring out what I don't have and getting it. But on the paper it did say that if I had trouble getting anything they could help.. so I have to make a conscience effort NOT to let this make me nuts. It's these things,paperwork, that stress me out. WHY? you ask? I have NO IDEA!!! So.. I'm going to take a deep breath and take care of it, tomorrow, lol
Isaiah didn't go to Kiddie Corner, he told me point blank he wasn't going to program. I said Oh yes you are! I had to call in reinforcements, Uncle Chuck and Tom came and put him on the van. Thank God. I am realizing that it's time Isaiah stops running the show. I realize there are some things that he can't help, however, there are definately some learned behaviors that we need to address. It's going to be a war zone trying to convince him that He, in fact, is not the boss.
I have not been to a Sunday morning church service in 2 months at least. I need to get back to basics. I miss being a part of church. And obviously the only one to change that is me. I am having a hard time w/ where I fit at church. What ministry does God want me a part of? Lately my life has consisited of just keeping our family on an even keel w/ all of Isaiah's hospitalizations etc.. but part of balance is having church be a consistent part of our life. I don't want to go just for the kids. I want to go for myself, I just don't know where I fit. I guess I'll have to get back into the groove of it and find out!

Pics of ME!!

Not Me Monday!!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Well, let's see here, now that I'm getting the hang of this Not me Monday blog, I have been sort of keeping tracking in my head of the things that most certainly could not have gone on in our home...let me share!
I most certainly am not guilty of sending my daughter to her room, then forgetting she was in there, only to hear "Mom, can I come out now?" This truly is the first time this has happened, maybe..hehe.. I would never have let my 12 year old son pack his own suitcase for a week at bible camp and not even make sure he had enough clean underwear..not me! I would never in a million years let my kids use our pool as a great big bath tub minus the soap..I mean chlorine kills the dirt better than soap..right? I also did not, while trying to give one of our kids a peace of mind my mind, trip over my words, call them everyone else's name but theirs and then completely lose my train of thought and whatever I was going to say went out the window and ended up laughing.. that NEVER happens in my house! I swear! I wouldn't think of telling my son just to pee in his swimmer pull up at the beach so that I wouldn't have to make the mile hike to the yucky bathrooms...nope, not me!
Well although I don't have too much for "Not me Monday!" I'm sure there will be more things next week that didn't happen in our house full of children! Till next Monday!

Lazy Day

Darnell was off today! Which was good because w/ all the kids going in almost 6 different directions, it was a good thing. Good news, Isaiah's bowels are MOVING..and do I mean MOVING!! His little belly no longer looks like there's a bowling ball in there. Jeremiah went to a Brewer game today w/ Sports(kiddie corner) and he leaves on Monday for camp! He's super excited! He and Darnell got his big 'ol metal futon bed out of room and out for the garbage this morning.. of course the junk collectors got it before the garbage men did. If they would have looked hard enough we were kind enough to put all the hardware that you need to put the bed together in a ziploc by the bed.. guess they just wanted it for scrap metal..who knows??

I was super lazy today. I get irritated w/ myself because I see so much that I need to do...and I don't do it. What's stopping me for pete's sake? I usually try to tell myself that eventually will have to do it, so I mine as well get it over with.. I'm still waiting on God, believeing God for an answer to how we are going to get our porch re done. It is still a mystery to me.. I am coming to believe that we aren't given all the details of life all at once...of course for those impatient people like me it makes me insane, but when I take a step back, I see that God is in control. He doesn't have to reveal his plan and all the details to us, we have to trust that he's got it taken care of. Period. I don't have the blueprint of my life or any of the details, but He does. That leaves me with a choice. I can either be patient and find constructive ways to let God do his thing and get out of the way, or I can whine, tell EVERYONE my problems( which I will admit I am extremely guilty of doing) and fret and fret and that gets me NO WHERE! Of course I have to make a very vigilant(did I spell that right??) effort to be patient. I've have done the impatient thing too many times that I care to remember. I'm opting for enjoying the life God has given me, and let him figure it all out and I will follow. Of course easier said than done, but something well worth striving for!!!

Crabby!

ok.. now I feel like blogging..I'm crabby. Isaiah already had a mini fit, hit Savannah...knocked my cup across the room. Can I just say ( and since this IS my blog, I will be whining, or complaining..pissing and moaning...that is anyone who reads this their fair warning!) I'm tired of all this. I'm tired of dealing w/ it by myself. I'm tired of being broke, I'm actually tired of the feeling like I HAVE to have starbucks and croissants. It infuritates my husband, I waste too much money on it and causes crabiness between us. I chew ice and it annoys my husband as well. Everything that I do to relieve stress makes or causes Darnell to be mad or irriated and is not good for me. I want to disappear. For awhile. Sometimes I just wish I was invisible. I really am whining..geesh..but I need to vent it out or I'll go nuts..I have to fight so hard to get Isaiah any decent help, and then it still feels like I'm getting no where or going backwards...Everything I do has an impact on someone else...real big epiphany there eh? I'm tired of worrying, and I know all about not worrying, trusting God....the whole thing, yet w/ so much coming at me on a regular riduclous basis, I just want to go on vacation for a really long time. I want to crawl into bed, and stay there. I wish I had the energy that other people do in the morning, to get up early, go for a walk, be healthy, organized.. I'm so not any of that. I know you aren't supposed to be so vocal, but I don't like ME.. who I am, how I am, who I seem to becoming.. how do I change that? God... I'll put it out there... I need a break through... I need a miracle.. I need relief. And the only way that will come is thru you... I've tried finding it on my own, obviously that got me know where...but right now..I need some major relief from the mountains in my life. So.. I think that is enough for today.. I feel sweet slumber coming on.. does that make sense? lol...going to chill

Isaiah's home

Well, Isaiah is finally home. I took him right to children's hospital ER to deal w/ his bowel issues. They did an X-ray, he's full of stool, but there's no obstruction, he's in no pain so they told me to load him up on miralax and bring him to the constipation clinic. I'm just happy to have him home. He's on different meds, well 1 is different, the other 2 are different doses. I'm completely drained. But my baby is home so it all will fall back into place. I wanted to blog, but I feel brain dead so I'm going to watch House...lol