Tuesday, April 27, 2010

2 more days.

Well, 2 more days until Isaiah's IEP meeting. Hopefully this will finally give us some long awaited answers. I want so much for Isaiah to be placed in a classroom where he feels safe, comfortable and can learn and start to go to school on a normal basis. Yesterday was a crap day. I felt like a horrible mom, wife, daughter, you name it....By the end of the night I felt somewhat better. I had scrubbed the kitchen floor, vaccumed the dining room and all the way up the stairs cleaned the kitchen. I am have some serious dizziness going on. I think it's a combination of being anemic and it being that time of the month...I was going to go to Zumba last night but I was too dizzy!
I am trying really hard not to let my anxiety take over....this meeting on Thursday will change things alot. And part of me is scared to death that trying to put Isaiah in school all day is going to send him spiraling down again. For his sake I hope it doesn't. Part of me wishes I could just keep him home w/ me, where I know he is safe, comfortable and not stressed out. But I know what's best for him, and that is being in school like other kids his age. Last year at this time, it was a daily fight w/ Isaiah, I didn't think he'd ever be close to me again. Thankfully we've had time to heal, connect again. I guess right now the bottom line is I hate the unknown. That's what the future is. SOOO unknown. I know that's where my faith comes in. I know God is a merciful God and has Isaiah, and the rest of our best interest at heart. So... I will wait.
Well I am going to go do something productive I guess.........