Thursday, April 29, 2010

Life is falling apart.......

Life, as I know it, is changing. I feel like things are about to get turned upside down and there isn't a thing I can do about.... I have cried, and cried and cried some more. I don't want my kids lives turned upside down. I am passionate about them not having their lives disrupted yet again. This last couple years have been ridiculously hard, and now, now that Isaiah is FINALLY stable, life is flipping turning upside again! I am praying, trying to trust, trying to see that this move is, really, just a small part of life. But right now, it feels like the freaking world is coming to an end. To say that God is in control is true, but right now i FEEL like eveything is spinning....I just can't handle it. period. there I said it. maybe some women can handle crap like this, well i can't. I am going to play that poor me card and just say it, haven't we had ENOUGH to deal w/??????? I mean seriously...i have watched 2 of 4 of my kids suffer from disabilities that I can't do a dang thing about. my other 2 kids have handled it better than I have!! I just want things to be normal. of course then agian, what's normal? who doesn't have their own load of crap? who am I that things should be any different? I am praying for miracles...hoping, pleading....I need a break. I need.... oh i don't know what I need..............