Sunday, October 25, 2009

Nice Weekend

It's Sunday night, it was a decent weekend. The weather was gorgeous! Yesterday we got a ton done outside, the kids kicked butt helping w/ the yard. Haley cleaned EXACTLY the way I would have! Jeremiah is sooo quick to ask if I need help, savannah provides comic relief while we work, LOL...She helps, she would rather play :)
Darnell baked and cooked up a storm the past week. I am very blessed w/ my family. I woke up this morning in a FOUL mood. The kids kinda were really squirrely and thankfully my mom releived me and picked them up. They had a blast at her house, played and played, came home FILTHY!! They all had showers and at the end of the day they smelled like outside, I love that smell! Now I can appreciate them more.
I am watching House Hunters and they are in Savannah, Georgia. I can't shake the urge to move, especially to Savannah, GA. I do not know what in the world that is from. For all pratical purposes moving out of state is really out of the question for us. With 2 kids w/ issues, it would be extremely difficult to deal w/ things that come up in a new city w/ no family. Not that we would even get out of Racine w/o my mom tying bricks to our feet in an effort to keep us here, lol.. I don't know if it's just my need for a change of scenery, beyond WI, the Dells.. I just really want to go down South. I need to put that in God's hands. If it is just selfish desire, I need pray that I can let it go. I am not looking forward to winter. Although I have decided to work as hard as I can to look at the things I DO like about winter, in no particular order: warm fall/winter nights inside, baking and cooking seem to happen alot during the winter months, the look of freshly fallen snow on the trees, and I will admit,, when there is a huge snow storm and everything shuts down, it sorta is exciting, a change of pace. The Holidays obviously are the best! So I need to focus on all that! Otherwise I'm going to be a whiny woman and I don't need anymore of that coming out of my mouth!! Well I have to fold laundry. Again, not my favorite thing to do, but I am trying to be positive, and take care of my family. As I have been trying to work my way thru this season in my life, I am realizing that it is ok to just deal w/ what comes my way. I can't be ashamed of the fact that I deal w/ depression, I am doing my best to be proactive about it. My counselor made a good point, I really need to let God heal me. It's not a matter of "Oh Melissa is depressed, blah blah blah..." but rather this time is a time that I need to listen to God's leading, let him heal me. Darnell has done above and beyond to make my days easier. I feel so bad, like I'm not doing my job as a wife and mom. I am realizing, after him telling me a thousand times, that he just wants to help me thru this, and since he obviously can't literally heal me from the inside out, he does what he can around the house and w/ the kids to make things run smoother. What a man. After 13 years, he still surprises me. He puts up w/ alot, he gives 150% to our family. I am so thankful for him.