Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What a week!

What a week it has been. Isaiah had the flu last week. I have had a headache for over a week from the 2 molars I am getting pulled. Now Darnell is sick. He's got the flu I think but he was too stubborn to come home from work today. I know he's got our family's well being at the forefront of his mind, and I respect that, I just don't like seeing him sick and being miserable. On a different note I took Isaiah to Dr. Callaghan yesterday. It was a good visit. He's keeping him on the same meds which have helped extremely! He suggested we seriously consider homeschooling Isaiah. Drop a load of bricks on me why dontcha? I mean seriously, the ONE thing I SWORE I never would do,is homeschool. I am NOT a teacher. I don't have the natural knack to teach. Especially try and teach my child, who I am about 95% sure has a learning disability that has not yet been nailed down. How do you teach a child w/ something like that? I will be the first to admit I have just about ZERO patience when it comes even to homework help. Most of the time the way it rolls in our house is " Just wait till Dad gets home, He can help you!" LOL... sad but true. I have just gotten over endless months of physcially wrestling w/ Isaiah almost on a daily basis, right now I am moving thru all the dang emotional crap that goes along w/ that. Isaiah has become affectionate again towards me, he's loving and kind to me. Vast difference from just 2 months ago. So I don't want to start this homeschooling thing and have it turn into another battle. I don't want to be at war w/ my son. So.. I have contacted the advocate and also the school is getting the ball rollling for home bound school-which is like 4 hrs of schooling at our house a week. They send a teacher out. I know what it boils down to is~ Trust God.

Yesterday I made an awesome dinner-chx stroganoff in the crockpot. The kids loved it!!! We had it again for leftovers and they didn't even complain. I got alot of cleaning done which I feel good about. Darnell and I had a real heart to heart last week. Basically me telling him that as I go thru this healing process, I am so sorry that I am not being the wife I know I should be. My counselor validated the fact that what I've dealt w/ in the last 2 years or so, is simply something that takes time to deal w/. For me it brought on a pretty bad depression. So know I have to focus on letting God heal me from the inside out. When I'm feeling lazy and Darnell is doing alot around the house, Darnell has made it clear that he's not doing it w/ a crabby attitude. He gets tired of course, but he knows right now I need him to fill in the gap. Let's face it, as a stay at home mom, as a woman I have my own expectations of what I should be doing. Having to ask for help is hard. Darnell has NEVER said one deregotory(spelling?) thing to me about this. So.. I need to count my blessings and look at this season in my life as a healing time for me. Some days I kick butt around the house and he comes home and is shocked, lol, other days he comes home and I am completely wiped out and haven't done hardly anything. I am praising God for a husband who can handle me..lol.. he tells me I'm not spoiled, just well taken care of. Indeed, I am well taken care of!!!

I let Haley get a facebook account today. I was hesitant, but I figure as long as we are monitoring it, she can enjoy it and I can make sure everything is on the up and up w/ her being on the internet. At this point, she's extremely innocent, which means I will be very cautious w/ her friends on FB, she has limited time on the computer anyways. I will be getting my molars removed on Thursday. Thank God they are knocking me out to do it, lol...I can't wait. I have been in soo much pain. After my mouth heals I'll have impressions taken to replace the pulled teeth. Once that is all done, the teeth that have been pulled will all be replaced. I can't wait!!! I will feel SOO much better about myself. My ice chewing habit is coming to a screeching hault. bummer. I do love to chew ice. Stupid I know, but it is what it is. Well I realize I have rambled on quite a bit..but it's my blog, so I can do that, LOL