Wednesday, May 5, 2010

And the saga continues!

Life still is or feels like it's slowly falling apart. I will admit, I do not automatically look at the glass as half full. I try and fail. I have been reading and reading God's promises that he WILL take care of us and provide. I guess his timing is different than mine. I'm not liking this whole wait and see gig....Maybe I should get a clue, for example, when Haley was first born, we heard a hundred million times, " well we just have to wait and see....see how she grows, develops and a bunch of other variables...then w/ Isaiah again, well we kinda have to wait and see how he's going to mature, if he will, blah blah blah. So going round and round this mountain is getting OLD. Maybe I need a slap upside the head. But seriously, how does one completely change your thought process, how you deal w/ stress, how to be level headed? I haven't figured it out yet. I am sure I could easily hear from any number of people that I should return to going to church..well no offense, but I went to church my ENTIRE life..and right now, I know GOD has given me the ok to NOT GO! So, I do not believe that God is allowing all this to happen just to get me back in church. I've been reading and praying scripture left and right. Hanging on for dear life.
God never fails us. I believe that. I am giving everything I can to hold on, trust and try not to whine, although the whole whining thing is kinda hard, i will admit.
I am making a huge effort to see the good in my life. I mean seriously, I have a hubby that worships the ground our kids walk on, he's faithful, loving, a hard worker, I could go on forever. I have 4 amazing kids that just yesterday I got a very sincere compliment from someone who had seen them for a total of 5 minutes and he said " I can tell your kids are good kids, I wish my brother's kids were lke that" I have an awesome support system, awesme family... I could go on. So I will leave it at that. I am ever thankful for the blessings in my life, This crap happening right now, will pass....