Friday, July 30, 2010

complaining.....

I feel blah. I started a new medication and I think the change is catching up to me. I feel so unmotivated and icky. To have depression can be so hard. It's not something everyone understands. How do I describe that I feel basically like crap. like I don't want to be around anyone, I don't have the energy to do anything, and it seems like I constantly have a headache. I feel like a big whiner.
On a positive note, we got an old fashioned push mower today. Pretty cool. My dad will be here on Sunday. Isaiah's done w/ summer school. I had a rough week w/ him. I think that may be part of why I feel the way I feel. He goes to the Dr. this week. His meds have been tweaked, but I don't think enough. Some days I just feel so unequipped to handle this. I feel weak and emotional. I know and have heard a million times that I need to be positive and that whole speech, well it's real hard to feel that way when I already fight depression as it is. I already feel like I am not a good mom, or that I am not doing all the right things. Oh whatever, I need to just shut up for now.