Friday, May 13, 2011

Caution

Well I've had a few good days this week w/ no headaches. Last night Haley had her talent show at school and her dance team won 1 out of 2 of the prizes! I am so proud of her!! It was fun to watch her do her thing! lol
I am an absolute crab ass today. Part of it the weather is crap again which has brought w/ it another flippin headache. I do not have real medicine to take. All the meds from the headache clinic just make it worse and the side affects are horrible. So I am still adjusting to the fact that this is what I am going to have to deal with for who knows how long. I know that I don't need surgery, which I am very happy about. But finding meds, especially for migraines is almost like finding a needle in a haystack. It is hard to be optimistic. The headaches, especially when they get really bad, drain me. Once it is gone, it takes me a couple days to bounce back because I feel like I've just been thru the ringer. My aunt puts it perfectly- she calls it the headache hangover. You have this massive, horrific headache that sucks the life out of you for a day or two and then, once it goes away, your body just sort of is left to recover. so anyways, it's pissing me off.
2nd, which I know we aren't the only ones that deal with this, I'm just a blabber mouth and will talk about it, it's a tight month financially. we're broke, lol. like any family we have ups and downs. gas is sky high and we have a gas guzzler, however we have a vehicle so i can't really complain. but our kids, all 4 of them need summer clothes, right down to flip flops. Darnell is working his tail off,overtime even and the stress of it is just getting to us. Nothing that everyone else isn't dealing with. And I realize that we are blessed beyond measure. God provides, He always does. And the more I type, the more I realize how much I have to be thankful for. I honestly think this last month has just got me so, so on edge. It's like I want to go on vacation or on a break or somewhere. Just to breath. And that's when I get frustrated b/c we don't have the extra cash for me to go anywhere. And really, it's reality. Junk happens to people all the time and you can't just run away from it. Maybe I feel entitled to it because of all the stress w/ Isaiah's issues, Haley's issues, now mine.. but really, I'm not dying. but damnit, I feel like can't I get a break somewhere? Does Darnell get a break too? This crap sucks! so. there.