Well...Shall we address the subject that SOO many people, especially families, those w/ kids, stay at home moms, etc.. never REALLY talk about? Can you guess what I'm talking about? MONEY!!! Some have it, some don't. Some have a little, some are living pay check to pay check.....some live a life that looks like what everyone wants but really are in debt up to their eyeballs. But, really, no one really knows about how our friends make it month to month.
We started off young, broke, no college degrees, barely old enough to have a work history.. and it's taken YEARS to build up a good work history( for Darnell).
Now I will talk about US. I'm not going to get extremely specific, but as most of you know, I'm pretty real. I often find myself feeling guilty about any money we spend on anything that's not bills. Like we don't deserve it. Yes we have debt. Yes we filed bankruptcy in 2006. We have not made great choices w/ our money. I'll be honest. And to be even more honest, there have been times that we panicked, our faith was shaken etc... God has been so faithful. I could go on forever. Throughout the year, we live paycheck to paycheck. Occassionaly we have extra cash to buy a trampoline or whatever. I always feel the need to explain any big purchase we make.
I went to Chicago yesterday and I sorta feel guilty b/c I spent a little bit of money.
So the point is... I am guessing I'm not the only one feeling this way. What prompted me to write about this is... all of a sudden my girls need capri's for their missions trip next week, well they need clothes period. They've grown, they need seriously, a whole new wardrobe. I can't even come close to affording that. I've been rummage saleing, going to goodwill.. etc. But it's hard to find the right size... they're at that age where they don't quite fit into the girls and not into juniors, Savannah needs the plus size.. it's so frustrating! All 4 kids need shoes, tennis shoes, dress shoes.. It all just comes at once and I get stressed. They all even need underwear/bras/socks/t-shirts. I know God will provide. But these are the things we deal with.
I think so many families have their own financial struggles in different areas. May it be credit card debt or a shopping addiciton or what have you...
Let me just share some of the things that roll through my head in the course of a day( this is simply to get it out of my head~ very therapeutic)
We are out of downy, bounce sheets, dishwasher soap, almost out of TP, I'm throwing away more socks than I'm washing b/c they have holes, the registration on our van needs renewing, Haley wants a hair cut, camp is coming, this child needs this, that one needs that, I can't hardly keep up on groceries b/c I now have a growing teenage boy in my house, cell phone is due, WE energies is due.. you get it. I know this is the same as everyone else. But tonight, for whatever reason, typing it out felt like I was getting it outta my brain.
The last thing is that w/ all the above to think about that leaves nothing left to do anything fun w/ the kids. We take them to the Dells at tax time. But in the summer, we can't do much.
With all of that venting/complaining, call it what you will, I know God will meet our needs. He always has. I just felt like maybe someone else might read this and can relate. If not, oh well. No harm done. In the meantime, I am praying for God to show me how to save money ( and yes that means me cutting back on Starbucks) and trying to figure out ways to make extra money??