Thursday, August 11, 2011

Blessed

On Monday I had to go to the ER for a Chairi headache. It had started on Saturday in my neck and just kept getting worse. When I woke up Monday morning I just could not handle it. I was disappointed when I went and the meds they gave me were not at ALL what I had hoped. I left and still had a headache. The meds made me feel like I had restless body syndrome or something. It's so discouraging to go with the hopes of leaving pain free and then you don't!  Then it took a day or more to recover from having such a bad migraine. I have to say, once you feel better, you feel like a brand new person! 

I feel as if I am recovering quite well from what I went through last month. Darnell and I have grown so close throughout the last month. It is remarkable. We have talked more, like really talked in depth more than we ever have. That has helped me SOOO much. We both have totally fallen in love with each other all over again. It's crazy. crazy awesome!!! God has worked so much in our marriage. We are 2 months away from our 15 year anniversary! I wish we had the means to go on a vacation, but we are hoping to figure out a way to sneak away for a few days. After the year we've had, I think we both just need time to spend together, w/o any distractions. Darnell is the LOVE OF MY LIFE. We may sound sickening, but guess what? I DON'T CARE!!!  

I have peace. That doesn't mean that everything in life is all in order or perfect, and it never will be because that's just crazy. But God has given me peace. We were blessed and able to get the kids all of their school supplies and get a decent start on school clothes. This is the FIRST year that we have it all, even their shoes and what not 3 whole weeks before school starts. I am so thankful for my life. My family, my friends, everything that God has blessed us with. I would normally look at all the crap that's gone on especially this year w/ me and just be depressed and mad at God. But thru the dark times, I still see God's hand. During those dark times is when God comes in and shines his light. WE have to allow him to, we have to have that  door open. Don't get me wrong, it's hard sometimes. Of course I'm not thrilled to be diagnosed w/ a chronic condition that is unpredictable and all that, or that I went thru a traumatic experience that will always be something I can't forget. But if I close that door to God, that leaves me hopeless. It's WORK to CHOOSE to look to God sometimes when our circumstances are pulling us in every other direction. I am fighting, fighting for my life, for my kids, to keep turning to God. 

I am blessed, beyond belief.