Tuesday, August 16, 2011

what a month it has been!

I survived one of the toughest months in my whole life. It ranked right up there w/ the extremely rough days and nights when Haley was in the hospital or Isaiah was. I truly give God all the glory. Darnell has been my biggest support. He has prayed over me, anointed me w/ oil while I was sleeping, you name it!!! 
Despite the tragedy, I am already seeing what God is doing and will continue to do in my life. 
Tonight I was driving, and I have to say, I think I was born in the wrong generation. I have always thought that. The idea of being a wife and mother, cooking and baking for my family is enough to fill my love tank. I want to give my family a cozy, warm, love filled home. I love family get togethers and cook outs and friday nights at HOME. Every now and then the wild side comes out in me and I want to go live it up, but I'll tell you what, after last month's horrendous incident i will never , EVER again take for granted the the sweet silence of my home. Or folding laundry and being around my kids on a fri/sat night. It gives me a sense of security. I think now more than ever since my sense of security and everything else was pulled out from under me. 
I think, or rather I know that our marriage is in the strongest place it's ever been. They say what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger, and if anything could take down Darnell and I, it was the events of this last month. Instead, we gave it to God. We turned to Godly wisdom, we prayed, we cried, laughed and even fought it out a bit. And it's been a roller coaster but one that has put us in the best place we've ever been in. I want my life to reflect God's love, I want to make him happy. I am praying God will direct me to whatever he has for me. 
I've been to the ER twice in 7 days for the migraines. The 2nd time I went to the one in Franklin, I was told that it's a much much better facility than St Mary's. And it is. they gave me the meds I wanted to help the headache go away. And of course it's a narcotic and so I don't want to look like I'm looking for drugs. The worst part of having chairi is that you have to jump thru a million hoops to get to the right Dr, get the right tests and then FINALLY get meds that will help w/ the headache from Hell. So.. I will continue to jump thru hoops. I've actually gotten quite good at it.. especially when getting Isaiah in the right classes, right school. Now I just need to find him a good psychiatrist that will help us deal w/ some of his issues that are beyond us and we'll be headed in the right direction.
Well, time of for bed. Eyes are starting to droop!