Monday, April 6, 2009

Being a mama!!

My name is Melissa. I am ( in no specific order) the mother to 4 children, wife to one awesome husband, only daughter to a wonderful mom, starbucks addict..internet addict and an extremely part time nursing student. I had my oldest child at age 19. Being a mom is a huge enough job as it is, however, being 19 seems to make it that much harder. I spent my 20's being pregnant for 27 months( my other 3 kids), taking care of these little people that I brought into the world. I spent my friday nights at home, folding laundry, cleaning and all the "mom stuff" As if having children at a young age wasn't hard enough, 2nd child, our oldest daughter was born w/ her bladder on the outside of her body. That led to many surgeries, many many weeks spent at children's hospital..the whole 9 yards. So.. that means being a mom and a wife to 2 kids( at that point) one with a physical disability. To be 100 % honest, I was terrified and came very close to having a nervous breakdown. Thankfully, my husband, family and friends pulled me thru. Not to mention my faith in God. without that, I surely would have ended up in the psych ward. no joke! I remember sitting on the toilet holding a baby just so I could pee w/o having to listen to my bundle of joy wail. Later on I figured out that I will this child in the crib, where he/she is safe and make my way to the bathroom, by myself. and OMG, the world did not end. Yes my child cried for a short time, but my bladder was empty and I didn't have to hold an infant to to get it that way! Motherhood makes you someone you never imagined you'd be. For the good and sometimes the bad. I am not proud of hte bad moments, however I am HUMAN!! Being a mom does not mean perfection, it's quite the opposite actually!!! It means, you rearrange your life so you can go on a field trip, you are laying in bed thinking about the multiple appointments you need to make, the cleaning you will be doing until you die, how unkept and sad I looked as I ventured to Starbucks( my savior, it gets me thru A LOT, lol) in my sweats, crocs and unshowered self. All of which could rightfully land me a spot on what not to wear. I break all their rules. Then on the days that I actually put on my face, wear real clothes.. people comment about how nice I look. I appreciate it, but it is a loud and clear reminder of just how dreadfull I can look. I am going to keep blogging about being a mom. I want to capture it all, the good, the bad the ugly! Someday, hopefully my children will read this and not feel negativley, but be completely aware that they have a mother who puts it all out there, isn't trying to be fake and ina way trying to prepare them for parenthood some day. As I write this, I have laundry waiting to be folding, I just sat down on the toilet with the whole seat up- GROSS! I need to clean my bathrooms, I need to vacuum, the list goes on.. until next time!!!