Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Humbling

So today I am laying in bed praying for groceries. Literally thinking about my bare fridge and freezer and cupboards.. trying to figure out how we are going to pay bills, buy groceries, gas, etc.. Isaiah walks in my room w/ a huge squash and cucumber from our neighbors garden. To me, that was complete confirmation that God will provide. I am pretty open about my life but to admit that we dont have hardly any groceries is even hard for me to publisize. But it's the truth. Everything is on Empty. Even the van. But I feel like sharing this will help someone. I don't know who, but I will tell you what, when people open up, and you share your struggles you find that so many are in the same boat but you also can be a support to each other. Darnell works dang hard and it's frustrating when everything is so expensive and it's hard to make ends meet. We don't qualify for any kind of help so even though we are in a rough spot, I know God will provide. He always does. It's humbling, it's scary, but this is life. Our list of things we literally need is endless, but if I focus on that alone, I'll be in a very dark place! I choose to trust in God, my provider. It's not always easy but it is necessary. When I share so much on facebook, on my blog, it's not because I just love to spill it all for the whole world. Part of it is, that's just how I am. But I also believe that I am not the only feeling the way I do, going thru these struggles..if we are going to go thru them, why not at least go thru it together.