Today SUCKED

Today SUCKED! No other way to phrase it. It started out ok. However, w/ all the busyiness of the holidays, it has caught up to Isaiah. He was RAGING mad....I'll spare you all the details, except to say, It breaks my heart to see him like that b/c no matter WHAT I say to him, until his brain shuts off a bit, he's a raging little 7 year old. I felt numb. Then on top of all that, I locked my freaking cars in the van, while the van was running. So, it ran for 7 hours until D got home and unlocked it w/ his keys. My mom did come over, brought coffee and that helped! So, needless to say..I'm pissy and crabby and that's that. No exuses, no apologies, it is what it is. I do however pull it together to make a decent dinner, get the house cleaned up a bit. I am ready for the tree and all the decorations to come down. I love my darling children dearly, however, I think I may need a bit of a break. Just for a bit. I'm getting crabby and I do not want to take that out on them. and w/ Isaiah being a loose cannon.. well...Im a bit drained. It literally tires me out menatlly thinking of all the years ahead of me and not knowing what we face w/ Isaiah. I realize God is in control.. but today things felt out of control.. I felt angry and pissed off. that's the truth. If that makes me a crappy mom, oh well. Even though I am a mom, I am still human. I probably should stop writing now b/c I am sure I could easily go off on more of a tangent.. and I know for a fact later on I will regret it. So that's it. Done pissing and moaning for today.