Personal Space. heard of it? In our house, it's hard to come by when the kids are home. To this day, my almost 15 year old STILL knocks on the door when I'm in the bathroom..In recent months I have found that I am in need of more of my own time and personal space. I realize that could sound selfish considering I am a wife and mom of 4. However, it is what it is. I'm not going to apologize for it. If that's what I need to be a better mom and wife, then so be it. My health issues and a few other things have made it so that I have become somewhat withdrawn at times. And sometimes I just need that space to collect myself, pray, heal, etc.. with the kids being at school during the day, I thought I'd have all the time I need. Well as it turns out, my peak time of day is at night. morning/ afternoons I don't do well w/ all the things I'd do w/ my own time. So then I end up staying up late. The house is quiet, peaceful and I can putz around as I please. It is usually the time I get the most done.
I was thinking today about how so many of my friends that I've know since grade school are moms and wives now too. When we once spoke of what boy we had a crush on, what test we where dreading that was coming up, what CD we just had to have....Now we are these women who speak of children, husbands, recipes, knitting, baking, cooking, cleaning...We can have whole conversations based solely on the quirky things are kids/ husbands do. Who would have thought??? When I once thought the world was coming to end b/c I thought maybe I wouldn't do well on a test,now the stakes are much higher. But the prize is so much better. kids that tell you I love you for no reason. Hubby's that bring you Starbucks just because....My how things have changed. For the good though. I wouldn't have ever thought of 15 years ago...Now my thoughts are consumed with who needs homework signed, what i need to make/bake for the girls Thanksgiving feast at school.. Dr.s appts that need to be made.Some days these things drive me nuts, these are thing the things that drive me to a place where I feel like if I don't get some time alone, I just may lose my mind. I wouldn't change any of it.
I'm striving to be a better woman. Thankfully I have God behind me!