Thursday, November 5, 2009

part 2..sorta..

I woke up feeling about the same. I am sure it's not the "flu" that's going around. I did call my Dr to make an appt to get blood work done and get this anemia taken care of. My mom made me do it, lol...I have not felt "good" in months.. always tired, lots of headaches... most of it I thought was just from everything going on w/ Isaiah and that is a big part of it. However, I had gastric bypass 5 years ago and I haven't taken my vitamins like I should. So hopefully I can get this taken care of. We are renewing our membership next week at the Y!! I'm so excited. I was a working out fool when we went there, plus it's sooo good for the kids. The teacher that is going to come to our house is starting on Monday. My aunt Linda has an antique desk we can borrow for him. I'm excited. I am hoping he will cooperate. I think being at home, in his own surroundings and having a one on one teacher will hopefully go well for him.
I read over my last blog, and I really feel strongly about getting over feeling guilty about everything! My whole life I have spent worrying about what others think, it's soooo tiring. Now, even if I look as if I am "going off the beaten path" as far as church goes, to set the record straight, I am chosing to listen to God. My life is quite different than most I'd say, I have different issues I deal with. So.. if I don't make it to church, it's between me and God. My children are not going to be traumatized for life... I want them to have a realtionship w/ God, not a feeling of obligation to go to church. I've seen soooo many old friends leave the church and never look back, kids that came from Godly homes. But honestly, I think they might have felt how I do...and alot of people don't understand that, they just judge you. I realize I have rambled, but like I said before, it's my blog, if you don't like it don't read it, haha. For real though, that's truly how I feel. I am trying to get to a point in my life where I can feel the freedom of knowing that I'm at a great place w/ God and whatever that looks like is what it looks like. I don't want to be part of hte cookie cutter christians. I am so happy my kids enjoy church and I will do what I can when I can to make sure they are involved. My kids are awesome. The other day I was in a FOUL mood, I was snapping at them.. all that. At the end of the night I went into their rooms and apologized to each of them and asked them to forgive me. They did, with NO hesitation. If only adults were like that!! My children are so precious..it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about each of them and how unique each of the are, how close they are to each other. I am blessed. I will not take that for granted, ever!