Sunday, December 20, 2009

Up and down

I am starting to think that I am bipolar, lol...My moods are all over the place lately. I have been in such a funk the last couple days. I don't feel the Christmasy feeling I normally do. Part of it I think is Darnell doesn't get paid till Wed so we can't finish any of our shopping till then..Financially it's been a tight month. Then I go in the living room & see our new TV and stand 7 PS3, but we don't have to make any payments until Feb. so we got the stuff, but didn't have to put out a dime right now. I guesss I am feeling insecure. I'm not sure why. When I break things down in my life, I really have no VALID reason for feeling that way..so many people are out of jobs, in foreclosure, and all that...We are very blessed w/ our home and Darnell's job and all that we have. My insecurities I think stem from this whole year being one big roller coaster. The ups and downs w/ Isaiah have just got me all goofy. He sees the Dr on Tuesday and I am hoping we can change his meds a bit. He's having more episodes, which is probably why I feel the way I do. I need to remember that God is in control. Why do I doubt and worry and get myself all worked up? Well I am going to stop complaining. I am going to focus on God, on what his word says and rest in that.