Well I have been thinking..scary I know, lol...I have a HUGE tendency to look at life w/ the cup half empty..I don't mean to, I just get caught up in the stress and strife and worry that comes along w/ life. I try to figure it all out, micromanage EVERYTHING!! That is NOT what God wants from me. It says in the Bible that he is my provider, my healer, my strength.. so no wonder I start freaking out when I try and do all of that on my own. I've said before, I need to shut up and get out of God's way to let him do his thing!! His plan is much better than mine I am sure. AFTER I have a episode of the "what if's" and stop and remember that God is in control, immediate relief flows thru me! God has done SOOOOOO many countless things in my life, I seriously should write a book someday, we've been in dire straights, w/o a vehicle, living w/ relatives( early in our marriage), a daughter born w/ a birth defect who has gone thru more than anynone should have to, yet as I type this, is playing, laughing hyserically w/ her siblings!! 10 years ago, I NEVER would have imagined she'd be this well adjusted, so comfortable in her skin, confident, GORGEOUS!...God is GOOD!! My children, well I am speechless sometimes when I look at them. I have days like any other mom when they drive me up a wall, HOWEVER, they are loving, compassionate, thoughtful, FUN kids. They don't fight like most siblings, they know God...I am in AWE of what God has done for us. I look at the things that are right in front of me and think, oh how will this work out? The panic creeps in, then I remember, or family or friends remind me of God's awesome power, and that all I need is HIM. to trust HIM, not my own resources. They I take a big sigh of relief!
I love how God surprises me. I never in million years thought I'd hear from my dad. However, I have prayed for a long time that if a relationship was ever going to begin, God really would need to drop it in my lap. I wasn't going to go chasing it down. I wanted to, but I wanted it to be a God thing, not a Melissa thing. And God did it. I'm getting to know my dad. Slowly, but surely there is a relationship building. How wonderful! And in God's time, my kids will meet their grandpa. I have to say that my mom is the bomb. She raised me by herself, and she just amazes me. She had a rough childhood and vowed that she would not let her child go thru any crap. And I didn't. Things weren't always easy, but would it be real life if they were? lol...She has supported me and prayed for me and been there for me every single step I've taken. She's just awesome. So mom, if you read this, just know that even if I don't say it, You are my hero!!!! And on that note, I am going to close for today!!! Listening to Hillsong and praising God!!!!!!!!!!!