Monday, March 14, 2011

Busy day...

Well, today was quite productive. I got a lot of those annoying things done. It was Darnell's first Monday off. It was weird, but nice. We went to Starbucks. Isaiah had a rough morning. It took until 11 a.m. for him to calm down. Poor kid. His schedule is all out of whack. I took the dog for a long walk downtown. I love walking downtown and even more so with a puppy dog in tow! lol... I made some phone calls, I had to take care of some school loan stuff that has been taking forever...Then I got about half way thru cleaning thru a bunch of junk in the basement. Needless to say the stress of tomorrow is creeping up on me. It doesn't help that I have to go by myself. I completely understand that Darnell has to work... It just is emotionally draining. Well I just will suck it up. God has my back. I feel some days like such an outsider to so many people. Like where do I fit in? I am a 30 something married mother of 4. Remember that show from the early '90's "Thirtysomething?" Those people seemed more on the end of the tail end of being 30 something...but whatever.. but now I am going on 34. My youngest child is 7. It is hard for me to get involved in much because we live a life unlike just about anyone I know. Unless you have a child w/ issues like Isaiah, it's hard to explain. When he gets home from school, our schedule is sorta set in stone. Some days I find a lot of security in that, other days I want to run for the hills. depends on my mood, lol. I am not trying to complain...I just need to vent... I am thankful for the family God has given me. Thru all the trials and issues, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Darnell and I have a marriage that is strong and passionate and solid. We laugh, our kids have fun together, and thru it all, we all know God is behind it all. so even though I'm stressing... I know from experience that this too shall pass.
The other issue on my mind ALOT is my weight. I am sooo insecure about it. Yes I know it's not all about that. but hey, I had gastric bypass, I lost a lot of weight, and then gained some back. I am trying to lose it. I find it hard to stay focused. Some days I could just care less, then other days, like the week before last, I went 6 whole days w/o eating solid food and survived off of protein shakes. Why are women so complicated? If I ever figure it out, I may just become a millionare!!
Well I am done rambling for the night.