Tuesday, March 22, 2011

neverending......

Well to say that I am stressed would be an understatement. When we saw Haley's urologist last week they gave her medicine that would turn her urine orange. So if she leaked any urine thru her urethra it would be orange and we would know for sure. Well sure enough, we saw orange. So we go in 3 weeks for a urodynamics test that measures a bunch of different things w/ her bladder. Then probably surgery? who knows. In the meantime, Isaiah's been having some hard days at school. Last week 2 days in a row the boy kept his coat and back pack on and repeated "I WANNA GO HOME" for 4 hours!!! Thankfully his teacher didn't give in. I just never know when he's going to have a bad day or a good day. I think part of it right now is although Darnell's schedule change is good, it's still change. Good or bad change throws Isaiah for a loop and it comes out in his behavior. 
I guess I am really feeling the weight of having 2 kids with uniques special needs. I know that I have awesome support, Darnell is the best. He goes above and beyond what I have seen any husband do. But for me, emotionally and mentally, this is all so draining. It makes me feel weak. I feel like I do what I have to do, and then I just want to do NOTHING. Which of course leaves me feeling like I am doing everything half assed. I do cast my cares on God. I do pray. I journal(well blog) and I still feel like I'm struggling. My to do list is neverending. The medications, the applications for more help for Isaiah, IEP meetings, now trips up to Children's...I'm overwhelmed. 
I do want to be positive~ we are loving our new dog! He is such a blessing to our family. He's so loving, he's adapted so well to our family. He's potty trained, he loves to cuddle. He's hilarious!! He barks at doorbells, and the vacuum cleaner. He cries whenever anyone leaves. It's so fun having him. Haley, Savannah and Isaiah got baptized on Sunday. That was cool. I'm proud of them. 
Well I'll be done for the day.