Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Further reflection

Today was another LAZY day. I have had more lazy days in the last week than I can remember. Thanks to my amazing Husband. Everyone deals w/ stress differently. For me, I tend to shut down for a bit, then I pick myself back up again and do what I need to do again. My diagnosis of Chiari diagnosis has most definately changed me. It will change the rest of my life. Sometimes for the worse, sometimes for the better. I wonder a lot why God has chosen our family to deal w/ these different challenges. But trying to figure it out is like trying to find a needle in hay stack. If I am to know why, God will show me. Until then, I need to do what I can do. 

I am coming to terms w/ the fact that I am not, never will be and am ok with not being the "normal"  housewife and mom. I am the mom God wants me to be. If I were anyone else, I wouldn't be right for my family.
I am SOO looking forward to spring. Granted, this year I have to do some things a bit differently~ I need to be aware of my symptoms, such as the neck pain, dizziness, extreme tiredness, and of course the infamous headaches. I have read that I need to not do any heavy lifting, heavy cleaning.. stuff like that. On good days though, I hope you do normal things. I'm only weeks away from being 34 for crying out loud. 
       I know God is in control. He's got his reasons. I am done questioning him. I've learned the hard way doing that just frustrates me more. 
And I may sound like a broken record for awhile, but it is my blog, my venting space.. so I get to vent, lol. I appreciate so much of the support and prayers  we are getting. If friends and families that are prayer warriors are reading this, please please pray would you be willing to pray for a few things for us? 
We need a 2nd vehicle in worst way. 
I need to find a way to connect w/ all 4 of my kids and meet their emotional needs during all this, in a way that is good for them. 
and probably selfish request, I really would LOVE a patio set for our porch. ( that's just something fun) and last but not least, for Darnell. That God would give him what he needs to help him thru this, friends he can lean on and ways to deal with all this w/o feeling like he's stressing me out. 
thank you. I know that despite the trials, the blessing far outweigh the trials. And for that i am so blessed.