Saturday, September 12, 2009

Beautiful Saturday afternoon

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Darnell and Jeremiah are putting J's new bed together. The kids rooms are finally all coming together. I often wonder why do I blog? Just to chatter on about the regular going on's of my life, to share and be completely transparent about my life? Probably the latter. It's quite therapuetic for me. Honestly, I can admit that I am trying to work my way thru this depression or funk I've been in. Most days, I don't feel like doing anything. I find myself beating myself up about what I should be doing, what I didn't do etc... I have 4 kids, it's not fair to them to have a mom that's always bummed out. I am trying to be proactive and make my way.. I've been praying, I actually made it to church 2 out of the last 4 weeks, tomorrow will make 3 sundays. Darnell has been really good about picking up my slack. I wish I could help him understand why I feel the way I do.. however sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me. Everything w/ Isaiah has caught up to me. I think that's the bottom line. It's no one's fault, it is what it is. I am blessed in SOO many ways I see that. I just "feel" yucky most of the time. I think I am tired about even blogging about this today, lol..