Wednesday, September 23, 2009

yuck

I didn't feel good at ALL today, I dropped Isaiah off at school early b/c it was picture day. That was soo nice. I can't wait till he's in a regular class all day. I came home and basically slept on and off all day...I took the kids to church and Darnell picked them up. I feel so blah. I also am sick to death of hearing myself saying that..haha. I get bursts of energy but this depression/funk whatever just is hard to work thru. I have an appt. next Wednesday night w/ my psychologist. I need a voice of reason ( other than those close to me) that can be objective. Right now, I'd rather just be left alone and sleep all the time...I am feeling very guilty for not being more involved w/ the kids. Darnell seems to have endless energy or he is jsut able to push thru and I can't. I feel bad about that too. I chew ice like a freaking fool.. I see the oral surgery tmrw for a consultation about getting 2 more molars pulled and then my regular dentist will replace all the teeth that have been pulled. That alone will be such a relief. I don't want to be a whiner. Just honest. real. I do make a conscious effort to see all the positives in my life. I also realize I set unrealistic goasl for myself, then don't meet them and beat myself up over it. gotta work on that. Well I need to sign off.. too tired to type anymore