Friday, February 19, 2010

Home from Vacation

We came home yesterday around 5. We had to check out of the hotel at 10 a.m. and could have stayed in the waterpark all day if we wanted, but man,we all were wiped out. Darnell especially! He played just as hard as the kids! Jeremiah and Savannah got a horrible rash from the chlorine.. Wed. mom got sick, fever and everthing. I didnt feel good either, so we both stayed in the hotel room all day. Savannah ended up sick too. Thankfully it came and went fast. Wednesday night I talked to my dad on the phone!! So excited! It's so exciting getting to know him. After so many years of wondering what he was like, if I was like him, if I looked like him..I am hoping to get to know my brother Nick. He lives in St. Louis too. We'll see. This is like a whole new world to me..a world I never EVER EVER EVER imagined would open up. I am still just praying thru every step, I mean seriously it's not even been a week that this all began. One baby step at a time. But for me, even the baby steps are exciting. I am being cautious, it's says in the Bible to guard your heart, and I need to do that. Just because I want every step of this to be in God's timing. I get myself all fired up and need to take a step back, breath and slow down. I have lived a life of honestly not knowing how to relate to men all that well. I have always felt akward around men, after almost 16 years of being w/ Darnell, I still ask him" really, you really LOVE ME? You even like ME??" It's all self esteem issues. It's hard to wrap my brain around that the one man in my life that wasn't there is now wanting to be here. Not that knowing my dad is going to fill up my self esteem issues, I think only God can do that. I just feel akward around most men. I was never a flirt, Darnell is the only man I ever dated, I was not the girl that turned heads. Still am not, which is fine, I don't want to be turning anyone's head besides Darnell's! But because of my lack of men in my life, it still leaves me feeling like a retard around guys, LOL...My boys think I'm cool.. haha.. for now anyways!
The kids laughed and laughed this week. music to a mother's ears. They got along, they didn't argue, they played together.. they are just awesome kids. It amazes me how well the get along. Don't get me wrong, they have their days, but they aren't at each other's throats all the time.I feel VERY blessed. I have a fabulous family and I give God all the glory!!!!!!!!!!