warning!!!!!!!!!!

WARNING!!!!!!!!!! I am PMS'ing, and crabby. Isaiah's giving me hell today. Which I shouldn't be surprised, he went to school today and although he did well there, it's when he comes home is when he gets all bent out of shape, to say the least. I know I'm suposed to get over this, I know I should count my blessings,quit complaining, be thankful.......today..I don't feel any of that. I am sick of dealing w/ a difficult kid. I LOVE LOVE LOVE him. It's his BEHAVIOR that makes me want to scream. I read on a message board the 10 commandments of having a child w/ special needs. On it one of them said not to be a martyr. Is that what I am? I don't want to be, but seriously, how the hell do I deal w/ this and have it not make me nuts? I am tired of hearing myself complain and cry,yet I just can't feel GOOD. I am TIRED of everything being difficult. Literally everything. With Isaiah not being in school on a regular basis I don't get a break from him. Of course when Darnell's home I do, but, oh I don't know. All I know is I feel crappy. Yes I am having a pity party. I am feeling crabby, I am tooooo worried about what people think about me, ya know, I know I am blogging/complaining about the same damn thing I always do. I don't even like myself today. so...I'm going to stop typing cuz I'm freaking tired of myself.