Sunday, September 5, 2010

labor day weekend!

Yesterday I my 2 older half brothers and their families. something I never imagined would happen. Not like I was avoiding it but I wasn't looking for it at first either! It's very exciting to see them, see the resemblemances between our kids..Very exciting!
Today my dad was going to come and visit, but his blood sugar was sky high. when that happens, he pretty much is bed bound..I looked up his type of diabetes and it's very unpredictable, and his blood sugar levels can spike just from stress etc.. I of course am not mad, just disappointed. However I realize when it's not something he can control. So.. hopefully next time. Darnell was off today, he went to church this morning w/ the kids. we had a relaxing day, took a nap.. chilled out. My body is killing me. Last night I made an attempt to make my cinnamon rolls, the dough was tough so I had to knead it and I think that pulled some weird-o muscles in my neck and arms..
This Tuesday, when the kids go to school and D goes to work, it will be my first day on my own since school started. I am really praying that I can have the energy to get things done. It's so dang easy to do NOTHING. Then I try to pump myself full of caffeine so I will have the energy to get stuff done, that doesn't always work and then the caffeine crash... welll it's all over after that. Honestly, as I learn more about depression and anxiety, I'm thinking maybe I should be the dang poster girl for it!! haha.. not really. All I have to say, is, and I've said it before, if you can not wrap your mind around depression/anxiety issues, and just don't get it, please don't judge. There are days that i look outside, see the beautiful lake and think, wow, I should go for a walk.. do I do it? well no...It's like I just can't make myself do it. I am seeing a counselor so hopefully some of these issues will get resolved. Especially before winter..winter is the hardest season for me. Let me end by saying, I have a fabulous husband, who is completely understanding, loving, and supportive. My kids are healthy, fun, happy.. a lot of things are looking up for us. So I may express a lot of concern about all the yucky stuff, or whine about it rather, lol, but for the record, the good DEFINATELY out weighs the bad in my life. with that being said.. good night!