Saturday, September 11, 2010

Unproductive weekend!

Today I did nothing productive. not one thing. I am just not sure where my head is at. I feel so blah. I have blogged about my depression issues etc.. so I won't go over all that again, but this last week, I just have no energy, no motivation. I honestly just want to lay around and do nothing. And eat, haha. That's maybe part of it. I have been eating crap and that is not helping I am sure. I saw my counselor last week and he advised me that at night, I need to not make a mental list of all I want to do the next day. Because when I do, it gets my mind going, I get psyched up about who knows what, then the next day I don't have the same motivation and I end up berating myself for not doing stuff. vicious circle. So.. I am working on that. I have said so so so many times that I need a vacation. I literally NEED one. I need a change of pace, scenery, somewhere to clear my head, get myself straight. It will certainly be a miracle if I do get a vacation. When I say vacation, I mean I want to get on a plane and go off somewhere tropical, warm, beautiful beach, awesome hotel...this is a big ol dream of course, but if you are going to dream , dream big! Next month is our 14th wedding anniversary. We didn't have a honeymoon. I would so love to go on a real honeymoon. Stay in the honeymoon suite, lol.. .anyways.. a girl can dream! I am praying that this week I can get myself together, get some stuff done.. etc...