Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Complaining..read at your own risk!!

I wish I could blog about all the happy things in life, be all cheerfull and sickening sweet, but it would be all crap. This is my outlet so I won't sugar coat how I feel, not that I really could, even if I tried. I am just baffled and why God has the notion that I can handle having a son w/ the issues he has? Maybe I'll never know, but dang it, I dont' like it. I went back to school w/ the hopes of becoming a nurse, heck if things would have panned out the way I had hoped, I'd be in my clinicals by now. And of course I know it's in God's time..yada yada yada...no disrespect to God, but I just don't get it. I wanted to have a career so we could at least have some financial stability. I have lived my whole life w/o that. So I've learned to adjust, it just gets to be tiring. And I'm tired of watching people my age buying house and cars and looking like they have it all together and I still feel like I'm 19 and barely making it. Ok so maybe it's not that bad, LOL... forgive me for the dramatics today.. I got half my toe nail ripped off this morning by my darling son so needless to say I'm a bit cynical. I have a boat load of things that need to get done and how does one do that when you feel like you have absolutely NO eneregy to do it? Oh blah... I'm sick of complaining. so I think this blog entry for the day needs to end. I'm making myself want to puke...