Sunday, July 19, 2009
Today I woke up pretty early for me, 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning, well maybe closer to 8:30.. I got up and made home made pancakes for the kids. Haley was having bladder spasms so she fell back asleep. Once I got breakfast done I got sleepy again, I had to take a vicodin for my tooth and that knocked me out for awhile. Darnell had an easy day so he came home for lunch. We went to mom's. She bought me a coffee! I hadn't had one in almost 3 days.. thought I was going thru withdrawl...just kidding. but my mama loves me so she bought me one!! Then we stayed and cooked out. The girls were gardening, Isaiah was watering flowers. I love that they can go to grandma's and have all these memories of gardening, playing outside at grandma's house, and all the other things my mom does with them. They did cross word puzzles w/ aunt sheila. We ended up wrestling in the front yard, it was hilarious!I feel very blessed. I think I have come to a new place in my life in a few areas. Darnell and I have decided that as far as sunday morning church goes, until Isaiah is stable w/ his meds, I am not going to venture out on a sunday morning for church. He does well in the service, however as soon as it's over, he explodes on the way home. I can't take the chance of him blowing up and having another episode like the last one we had after church. Soooo...the kids will go to church on Wednesday nights. I still believe 100% that kids need to be in church. So they will at least have wed. nights. For this season of our life w/ our situation this is how it has to be. I think it was the first Sunday morning in ages that I didn't feel guilty. I also spoke w/ my counselor who is a licencsed pastor( not affiliated w/ my church) really broke it down and helped me see that first of all, w/ all I have going on in my life w/ my family alone, I do not need to feel guilty for not being involved w/ ministry at church. Right now I am pouring out all I have to my kids which I wouldn't have it any ohter way, but I dont' have anything to give ministry wise. I need to be filled. And now days if you aren't involved w/ some kind of ministry it's like you are the outcast. As much as I want everyone to like me, oh well if they don't. If I don't do things traditionally it doesn't mean I'm a heathen, it means I'm doing things the way I need to do them. I have peace about it. And we talked w/ our other kids and they are all ok with it. I am hoping to find a small group to plug into. That's something I have to pray about. I feel like my plate is full, however I know God is giving me what I need to manage. I have an absolutely wonderful husband who supports our family and family and friends that do the same, I might have my bad days, but who doesn't? I feel blessed to be a mom. Today was a good day. I hope it warms up this week so we can actually use our pool!