Sunday, January 17, 2010

Happy 11th Birthday Haley!!!

My baby girl is 11 today. I seriously can't believe it. Saying time flies is an understatement. To think back 11 years, where we were at then, how far we've come.. and everything in between! I was reading over the journal I kept when Haley had her big surgery in 2001....That seems like just yesterday. Now I look at Haley and am in complete awe of how far God has brought her!! Her birthday always brings back memories of how difficult that day was...on one hand it was one of the most wonderful days..I mean I gave birth to my oldest daughter, but the fear and anxiety of her medical condition at the time stole the joy of the day to some extent. However, I can look back and not feel anxiety anymore. I mean, really, how can I look at Haley NOW..and not feel so proud of her, so thankful for her life!

On another note, I have had a revelation of sorts. Not major to anyone else but me probably, but that's how it works right? Well, my revelation is..ready? Here it is.. I no longer feel guilty for not being able to do things, be places all the time. Sounds dumb right? well w/ Isaiah's issues, we literally have to take things one day at a time. At this stage in our lives, we have to make decisions based on (somtimes, not all the time) how Isaiah is doing. It's not always fun, not always fair, but it is what it is..I can't change it, can't make everyone understand, and So.. the big revelation is....I will do what I can do, when I can do it, and that's that. God knows my heart, he sees the situation we deal w/ and I have to say, our lives are never going to be "normal".. I don't know who sets the bar for "normal" , it for sure isn't us, LOL....I am completely content at home. I am praying 2010 is a bit easier for us. I thought this last week that Haley was going to possibly need surgery.. thank God we dodged that bullet, for now. So today is her birthday..it makes me sad in a way that she's getting older, yet seeing her mature and grow up is awesome. My kids are growing so fast, I sometimes miss the days when they were babies, but when it comes down to it, I can't turn back time and let's face it, I deal with life much better getting a full nights sleep and not chasing after a baby.. been there, done that. time to enjoy this phase.So.. today I am laying low.. Isaiah's on edge, so I plan to have a quiet day at home.